Are you better off?

Wow, it's been a while.  About a week to be exact.  A total of 22 posts, 1,834 page views, and eight followers later, this year of blogging has come to an end.  I will most likely continue with these random posts to the internet, for I have actually found them enjoyable.  They have allowed me to vent and be the person I want to be.  Yes, I still continue do this in person, but there is something better about being able to do this without knowing if people I know personally are reading it.  These have allowed me to express my personality to people possibly around the world (probably not though).

When I found out that we were starting a blog, I was both embarrassed and frustrated.  Partially because most bloggers are mothers of five or vegans, and I wasn't keen on the requirements for our posts.  I had a hard time coming up with a theme of my blog.  But I finally settled on the greatest one of all: no theme.  Why be tied down to just talking about one subject?  I have multiple themes I considered, so might as well do all of them.

My first couple of posts were just rants that I've held onto since the beginning of time.  Throughout this mini e-journey, I found that entertaining people is what I love to do.  This has allowed my to find out a lot about myself through what I have written.  They have let me express personal experiences, embarrassing or not, that might help someone or make them happy.  That, I believe, is what social media is for.  Not to bring people down, but to lift them up.

Nine months later, I have a child.  Just kidding, but I am still the Parks and Recreation loving teenage girl who is in fact less than average, but I feel my confidence this year has gone up a lot.  I've tried out for things I never would of, made new relationships with people I have never met, and overall gotten more mature (I think).  I have always had a self confidence issue, but I feel that this year I made a huge shift.  My family has always thought I had a talent in entertaining and humor, but I didn't really believe them until this year.  I have gotten so many positive comments about this blog and the things I express on it.  To whoever is reading this without the main purpose to grade me on it (you're still cool though, Mr. Parker), thank you.  I am still not very well known, but I got a lot farther with this silly little blog than I ever would've thought.

Don't get me wrong, I am still that one girl in the class that still thinks 'welcome to chili's' is funny and photoshops pictures of herself with the pope, but this year has been a big one for me.  Mikelle out.

(Francis and I on Mt. Everest creds to me)

R.I.P. Squillium Fancy Pants III

Today is a sad day.  On April 21st, 2016, my best friend, partner in crime, and companion passed away.  He was such a good man, who died way too young.  He had a lot of sass, and loved to be fed.  He was my favorite and only fish, and I have so many stories with him (well, not that many).

Once, I came home from school and it was feeding day.  I went through the normal routine of trying to get his food out of the little container thing, spilling it everywhere, trying to get it back in, and repeating the process.  I held the food close to the top of the water, and held it there to wait for hi o swim over to my hand.  But, apparently Squilly was a little more hungry today, and didn't want to mess around.  He jumped the couple of centimeters out of the water and got the food out of my fingers.  He almost bit me, do fish even have teeth?!? (answer here)  He then proceeded to go about his business and swim back into his little purple flower home I bought him.

I always felt bad for Squilly, because he was discriminated a lot throughout his life time.  You see, Squilly is a converted Buddhist who wasn't allowed to express his religion.  The tank simply wasn't big enough to fit the little buddha I found at PetSmart.  The oppressive dictatorship this country possesses did not permit Squilly to worship his beliefs like the rest of us.  All he wanted was to be seen as an equal.  Society, man.

When I found his sad body floating at the top of his tank, it really made me think about how short life is (for fish).  I was shocked for a couple seconds, until I realized I was going to miss the bus, then I quickly wrote a note to my parents saying, "Squilly is dead," and left for school.  Because my dad had the nerve to throw Squilly away instead of giving him a proper burial, we will have a symbolic funeral.  You know how Squilly loved his symbolism, that little devil.

(half mast is too high for this one creds to myself)

As Hazel Grace explains in TFIOS, "Funerals are not for the dead, but the living."  At Squilly's memorial, we will talk about the fun memories we had with him, not his moment of death.  Back when Squilly lived on my bathroom counter, we had many good times.  I remember, on the first day I had him, I wanted to see what music he was into so I put on some Fifth Harmony.  Squilly and I got turnt, he was even dancing around in his little one gallon paradise.  The months when Squilly was in my life were some of the best.  See ya in the next life, Squilly.  Mikelle out.

Types of People

We are soon nearing the end of the school year (finally).  Although that does mean that we are closer to summer, it also means that we are now in the world of standardized testing and teachers trying to hurry and teach material they should've in the first quarter.  Because we are in the brain dead season, I want to make you guys laugh about dumb things that we won't have to deal with soon.

Anyways, the first type of person you should be seeing around this time of year is the kid who basically stops coming.  There are many of these people at my school, including me sometimes.  I don't ditch necessarily, but if I can find any valid reason to not show up, you know I will hit that up.  Because my district thinks its okay to put 7 weeks of straight standardized testing on us in a row, I'm sure there will be more and more of these people in the near future.  Although, I shouldn't be judging them, considering I have missed school every Friday this Quarter so far.

The next type of person is the person who has a million trips planned for the summer, and has no problem sharing it.  We get it, you are spending a month in some tropical place I've never been to.  You might want to know, though, wherever you are going, there are sharks and deadly things, have fun.  While I am here, watching all seven seasons of Parks and Recreation over for the third time, you are getting eaten.  Who's the real winner now?

This next one is more of a last day of school kind of a person, but there is always one person that signs your yearbook and you have no clue why.  This is the person that you talked to once the entire year, but they still give you their number and say "We should hang out this summer!"  Or, you have my least favorite person of all, who writes, "HAGS" as in 'have a great summer'.  Just so you know, if you do this, I always look at HAGS as a signature of the person who wrote it.  I will forever see you as a hag now, but have a great summer!

(what people should write in year books credits to Youth are Awesome)

Although I can relate to all of these, I can not relate to being the person who basically just doesn't bring anything to school anymore.  Literally nothing.  I get that you think you are sticking it to the man or something, but how else are you supposed to bring food or your voodoo dolls to school (no, I do not personally have any voodoo dolls, but ya never know what your readers are into amirite)?  These people just show up expecting everyone else to "lend" them supplies that they never give back.  (RIP 99% of Mikelle's pencils)

So, as this school year ends, just remember that 1. Oprah will fall and 2. get your own freaking pencils. xoxo

Vaping at Disneyland?

Hello my fellow humans.  Spring break, sadly, has come to an end.  I wouldn't mind it ending as much if we weren't immediately thrown into standardized testing for the next seven weeks.  But that, my friends, is a rant for another day.  This spring break, my dance studio went to Disneyland!  After practicing at the crack of dawn (8 am) every Saturday for months, we were finally prepared.  By prepared, I don't mean mentally or emotionally (although I had to do a lot of that so I wouldn't break down into tears when we got there).  We actually went down to Disney to dance in one of their parades.  I may have cried a couple times, but who can blame me for being excited?

(hardly containing our excitement creds to mi madre)

Anyways, I'll get to the more entertaining parts.  First of all, before we even got to our hotel, we had the majestical but scarring experience of seeing a grown man walking around in boxers, and wearing cut trash bags as high socks.  As Ron Swanson once said, "Nature is amazing."

My favorite story of the entire trip would have to be when mi amiga, Lily, and I were on a ride called Grizzly River Run.  It is one of those weird boat raft thingies where the ride is completely in water.  We waited in line for what seemed like hours, and then we finally got to walk across that weird spinning circle to get in our boat thing.  Of course, the majority of people in our boat were over the age of 30.  There were two couples, and then a mom and her daughter.  As we got on the boat, the Disneyland worker looks over to one of the older guys and says, "You might wanna put your vape away, there are kids on this boat."  It was undeniably one of the hardest moments in my life, not to burst out laughing at this guy who, somewhere in his brain thought that bringing a vape pen to a children's amusement park was a good idea, let alone on a water ride.

Below is a candid shot of the Grizzly River Run-vape experience.  From left to right (of people facing the camera): vape guy, vape guy's girlfriend who is also awkwardly waving, Lily, and I (with the face of Oprah when she crushed my dreams).

(photo creds to mi madre)

The last story I have for y'all is kind of a downer, for me at least.  After we were in Disneyland, we went to Newport Beach.  There, we mostly rode beach cruisers (like normal bikes but 1000 times better) and attempted to ride penny boards.  Why are penny boards so much harder to ride than skateboards?  Thanks, Obama.  Anyways, we were riding our sick bikes along the beach, when a fine group of young males start approaching our way on their bikes.  With my hair blowing in the wind and my $3 sunglasses on, I thought I was such a catch at that moment in time.  Boy was I wrong.  Because it was a two-lane mini road sidewalk thing, Lily was riding in front of me.  I turned to look at the horizon (being the mysterious person I am), and I didn't notice her slowing down in front of me.  I full on rammed into her, in front of the attractive group of males.  Fml.  Remember kids, do the opposite of whatever I'm doing and you will be perfectly fine.

How to Live

Hello my fellow Trumpelstiltskins.  I know you are probably expecting a 500ish word post including a funny or embarrassing story from me, but I am actually going to talk (or write I guess) about something serious today.

As I see it, breathing and being alive are two completely different things.  You can be breathing and technically living, but being alive requires so much more.  I am not saying that I am against planning your future, being responsible, etc.  I am just saying that you (usually) need to experience more than you are now or have been.  Believe me, I am working on this myself, so we are both in this together.  You need to explore new places, make fun memories, meet new people, and find happiness.

You are probably asking yourself, "Where is Mikelle getting these ideas?  Why is she being so inspirational all of a sudden?"  Well, I've always been one that likes to explore and find new places, but it was mostly just on vacations and things like that.  The truth is, we need to do things like that everyday we can.  We don't have to live in a place surrounded by beautiful beaches or forests in order to explore and try new things.  You could even go walking around your neighborhood or on a hike and just find a place you like.  It can be something somewhat extravagant, or something as simple as a tree.  My happy place is a bridge I found when walking around by my Grandparent's cabin in Fish Lake.  It is just a small bridge, over a tiny stream.

(pure beauty captured by moi)

Next to it, are hundreds of intertwined tree roots sticking up a couple feet from the ground.  It may not seem too special to any of you, but it is my absolute favorite place to be.  Find a place like this, and go there as often as you can, you will thank me.

(credits to moi, again)

As we grow older, we all get so caught up in homework and social media and trying to fit in that we don't think about ourselves and what we need.  Although homework and school are very important to our education and the rest of our lives, it shouldn't keep you from doing what you love and making sure you are at your best mentally and physically.  For only a couple hours a day, turn your phone off and put it somewhere you don't normally put it, not near you.  During this time, spend time with your family, do something you've never done before, or get into old hobbies.  I have been doing this everyday, and it really has been making me happier.

My favorite thing to do for myself, is take pictures.  More specifically, I like to walk around my street and my backyard, and appreciate the beauty that I am surrounded with.  Don't worry about posting the pictures on Instagram or anything like that, just take them for you and you only.  I know I sound hella cheesy, but I promise that these things will either improve your day, or make you a happier person in general.

So, there was my inspirational rant.  I'm actually quite surprised I could get through 500 words without making a joke or calling myself an egg.  Eh, maybe next time.

O-dizzle is apparently not in the hizzle

Just from reading this title, I already know that most of you will be very confused as to what this blog post is about and why.  I will tell you, my friend.  I have no idea how I got this idea but I guess this is what happens when Mikelle gets bored.

*STORY TIME*

A lone Mikelle was sitting in math class, strongly considering dropping out to become a belly dancer (but that is a story for a different day).  And then I thought, "Hey, whatever happened to Oprah?"  So, I decided to search (via the Googles) what Oprah's email is.  It seemed kind of sketchy at first, considering the that came up email was: oprah@oprah.com, but I guess you can do whatever you want when you're Oprah.  Also, it was my birthday the day I made this masterpiece, so I was even more unstoppable than I am on a daily basis.

Anyways, I went through a little bit of a struggle trying to figure out what I should write about.  It took a whole five minutes to contemplate what would be worthy of Oprah's time (if that email is even hers).  But then I thought, I am an egg.  How can I incorporate that into my ode to Oprah? And then it clicked.  Oprah is known for giving advice, or maybe that's Dr. Phil, I really don't know at this point.  So, I constructed an e-mail that I know would get Oprah's attention for sure.

And then, the words started flowing out onto my new message, like words on a canvas, except for the fact that it was an email, and looks nothing like a painting.  Just go with it.  And I wrote:

To: oprah@oprah.com
Subject: help

"O-dizzle,

I am going through a hard time in my life and you are the only person that can help me.  I ate an egg whole and now I'm turning into one.  I've already lost my hair and limbs.  What do I do?

Your fellow Win-fan.

P.S. Please send an ambulance when you get this."

(with this photo attached:)

(photoshop credits to me, egg credits to PSD Graphics)

And then after over two minutes of no response, I decided to put another one in for me:

To: oprah@oprah.com

"Also, today is my birthday and a car would be much appreciated, think about it."

It has officially been a little less than a month, and I keep expecting at least a one sentence reply from O-dizzle, but still my inbox sits there like the non-fiction section in a Junior High Library.  It is, as Kim Kardashian would say:

(my life right now credits to Sugar scape)

So, now Oprah is basically dead to me.  She broke my heart into a thousand pieces, that sassy devil.  I'm just a lone egg trying to find my way in this world, but I guess that isn't enough for an empowering being like Oprah.  I'll get over it eventually, after I protest her.  I feel like it is the only way to resolve this problem.  Or, I could confront her on Dr. Phil, and then protest her.  Either way, Mikelle ain't letting this one slide.  I'm watching you, Oprah.

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

Time is a precious thing in our lives.  There are many things in this world that use up our time for no good reason.  Overused catch phrases are a very irritating example of these things.  I saw the vine, you don't need to repeat "Deez Nuts" and "What are those?" all the time.  I have the internet too, but do I go around saying dumb phrases when they aren't needed or funny?  Exactly.

Despite how much free time you probably assume I have, I actually don't have much time to spare in my week.  Surprising, I know.  I have a lot of things I have to get accomplished, and watching normal T.V. is just not an option.  After my family started buying a Netflix subscription, why do we even need real T.V.?  Granted, some of their series choices aren't the greatest, but you can watch it whenever you want without stupid ads to sit through whenever the show actually gets good.

For all you girls out there that have perfect nails all the time, props to you.  Mikelle doesn't have time for that ish.  It takes me what seems like 2398720349857 years to find the color I want, then when I actually paint my nails, it takes that time times two just to dry!  Its not even that thick, why does it take so long?  And no, the "express dry" kind does not actually do that much so don't even get me started.

(actual story of my life credits to Havoc and Mayhem)

Usually when I am putting up decorations, it takes a really long time but hey, it's exciting so I still do it.  Taking them down is a different story.  First of all, it is just plain depressing because it means that that holiday is over.  Second, it takes so much longer to take all of the ornaments off a christmas tree than to put them on.  It's basic science, and I don't have time for it.

Just like painting nails, if you have the time and patience for that, go for it.  I, on the other hand, enjoy my sleep.  What sounds better to you: Waking up at 5 every morning to curl/straighten my hair, or get an extra hour of sleep because I don't need to impress anybody anyways?  It's pretty much self-explanatory.  I don't have time to try to impress people.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I just don't think that worrying about how someone thinks about you is a good way to spend time.  Don't get me wrong, I care about many people's opinions about me because I'm not perfect but, you shouldn't try to change yourself to try to influence someone's outlook on you.

As a teenager, I don't have much money to spend on clothes.  I have a couple nice and presentable outfits, and that is mostly what you will see me wearing to school every week, but in different orders.  This is okay, despite popular belief.  You want to know why?  Because I OWN A WASHING MACHINE!  Do not criticize me for wearing the same clothes, because if I wash them, why should it even matter?  Most of the people who point these things out, are guys (or girls) that wear the same sweatshirt and pants everyday (without washing them).  You know who you are.

Help Matthew revise his essay (as he requested I included in this post)
"That is not my job!"
-Helen Dubois
If you don't know who that is, then maybe this will refresh your memory:

(My childhood, courtesy of Fan Art)

You're welcome.

V-Day da Real Way

It's February, and you (should) know what that means.  Another HOLLAday post w/ Mikelle!  It also means Valentine's Day, but I mean, what is more important?
Everyone is here for a purpose.  Mine is to teach people about Valentine's Day that most likely already know about it, considering 100% of my "audience" are from America.  Go figure.

Anyway, Valentine's Day.  One of the most dreaded but loved days of the year.  This HOLLAday is based entirely to be the day or month of love.  You seem like a smart person, whoever you are, so I'm guessing you can tell why this would be a problem for a majority of the American population (or wherever else they celebrate it, I don't know man).  Although I am in fact married to Harry Styles, I am technically "single," so I can relate to the struggles.  It is hard to watch other people be all couple-y when you are just a lone egg, finding your place in this world (or in the carton am I right ladies).

(look at us, just being goals original creds to Popsugar)

The even bigger struggle, to me at least, is hearing people complain about being single.  Yes, I know having a bangin' honey would be a prime time, but girl (or boy) you better work having no man or woman (your preference).  Considering I am still stuck in the land of three day relationships, many people I know always try to get a honey so they won't be single on Valentine's Day.  If you already have someone you like, and it so happens to work out that way, you go girl.  But, I don't exactly see the point of going out of your way to get a boyfriend/girlfriend just so you can celebrate a HOLLAday together.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but ain't nobody got time for that.

There are few, but significant benefits of Valentine's season.  If you are anyone like me, you know you'll be hitting up all of that red and pink candy that goes on sale.  There is something about the same exact candy in different colored wrappers that makes it so much better.  I don't make the rules, it just is.  Sorry, Michelle, but that is where it's at.  No, I do not promote unhealthy living, but sometimes you gotta treat yo self, am I right?

(dang right creds to The Savvy Adult)

T-Haverford and Donna know what I'm talking about.

Not only does the abundance of glorious candy catch Mikelle's eye, but the various stuffed animals holding hearts, those are the source of my happiness.  You can hate on stuffed animals all you want, but you know all you want to do is feel them as you walk by.  I know you better than you think.  No, none of me "baes" have ever gotten me one of these, but a girl can dream.

The greatest part of Valentine's Day, to me, are all of the punny cards you see on Twitter.

(in the arms of the angels creds to Valentines Day Poems 2016)

Too soon? Too soon.
Hopefully y'all will have a good V-day, and remember kids, even single Pringles have a stack of other Pringles in the can with them.  Do with that what you want.
Make good choices.

JLaw, my queen

Dear Jennifer (JLaw) Lawrence,

My name is Mikelle, and I really am nobody special.  Sure, I do have the coolest fish in the world and have almost memorized the dialogue in all three Back to the Futures, but I am still just a less-than average girl.  You have millions of fans, while I am completely the opposite with maybe three followers on this blog and about 400 on social media (thanks to my many extended family members). Why am I making an effort to recognize/reach out to you?  The answer is simple.  You are exactly the person who inspires both this blog and the content on it.  You see, as you maybe can already tell, I am a lover of comedy and laughter.  I always have been, or at least as long as I can remember.  I would always go out of my way to make someone or myself laugh.  I mean, a great RomCom can't be a RomCom without the "com," am I right?  Just imagine movies like Clueless or Pitch Perfect without comedy.  I know, it terrifies me, too.

(very relatable creds to Entertainment Weekly)

Although, in the movies I've seen at least, you have always portrayed a more serious character.  But, watching your interviews we can all see how funny of a person you actually are.  Most blogs, or at least successful ones, will have a specific topic to interest those specific readers, but not me.  My blog seems very unorganized and just everywhere, but there is actually a purpose for all of the work put into these posts.  I want to make more people laugh.  Whether they are having a bad day, or the best day of their lives, I want to bring them the laughter that I know has guided me through my life. *inspirational titanic music playing in the background*

Most people admire an actor or actress for their acting skills or the fact that they played that person's favorite character in that movie.  I am guilty of this to some extent, but I strongly disagree, (but you did do an amazing job in The Hunger Games). You could be the Bill Gates of acting and still be a terrible person.  I look up to people more for how they act in interviews, around their fans, etc.  This is one of the many reasons that I admire you.  You don't even hesitate to express how you really feel when people ask about it.  You aren't one of the fake celebrities that acts like they're perfect all the time.  I have watched many interviews that still continue to inspire me.  You, unlike other girls, are never going to be willing to change your body or the way you look for anyone else.

So, this may be a slightly awkward 500 words for you to read, but this is the truth.  You are, in fact, the reason that I post on this blog.  I mean, besides the fact that I am graded on it, but thats not the point.  Okay, I'm gonna go eat now.

Your favorite egg,
Mikelle

Theme Parks 101

In my life, I have been to quite the number of amusement or theme parks.  I love them, the rollercoasters, sometimes waterslides, and so much to do (hence the name).  Nothing can ever destroy my happy mood at a theme park.  Except many things, actually.

If I am taking a picture of something (it has happened before), and the line moves forward, don't you dare try to cut me in line.  I was at Lagoon last year waiting in line for a haunted house, and because it was around Halloween, they have pretty clever decorations.  Anyways, I stopped to take a quick picture of this fake tombstone, and a mom behind me sassed me and tried to walk in front of me in line.  Nice try, hun.

I mean, how can you not take a picture of this? (creds to moi)

If you have been on the ride before and someone hasn't, don't act like you are an expert of that ride.
Thousands, possibly millions of people have been on that ride, you're not special.

Be nice to the workers, please.  This really applies to anywhere you go, but those poor theme park people (usually teenagers) have been there for who knows how long watching you have fun, so be nice.  Also, if YOU drop something off of a ride, don't blame it on them, or anyone else for that matter.  Honestly, just don't wear something that maybe could fall off, it isn't worth losing it.  Once a guy on in front of me on a rollercoaster's hat flew off.  Because my hands were up, I wasn't able to catch his hat.  I swear, if you were there you would've thought that I was the one to make his hat fly off.  We are all just here to have fun, so be nice and respect others por favor.

If you don't get the seat you want on a ride, don't pout or be mad about it.  For little kids this is understandable, but if you are over the age of eight or nine, please don't complain and put everyone in line in a bad mood.  If you really want that specific seat, get back in line and ride it the next time, problem solved.

If you are in a waterslide, please don't try to stop in the middle of it.  You are not spiderman, and you're slowing down the line.

Now, I understand that you and your squad came together and want to ride and die together like a true squad.  However, making people wait in line longer and annoying the workers is not worth you all sitting together on a 0.7 second ride.

All in all, amusement parks are lit.  Despite the people who do things like this and aggravate me and my fellow citizens, it'll almost always be a freaking great way to spend your day.  Plus, you get to see people like this:

(pure beauty credits to Hannah)

I mean, who would miss out on such an opportunity?