Mikelle 2020

As most of you probably know, Mr. Kanye (Yeezy) West has announced, very abruptly, that he will be running for President of the United States of America in the year 2020.  If you hadn't heard that, then you should really turn on your T.V. or computer more because that is old news, my friend.  Now, as much as I kind of (not really) respect Kanye, I know that I would be a better President for these reasons (there are obviously an infinite amount, but I thought I would make it short for the readers at home):

1.  Kanye may love himself more than anything else, but I love dinosaur nuggets even more. (Self explanatory)
2.  I will print more money because nobody has time for debt (*cough cough* thank Costco for that one).
3.  With Kanye as President, every speech will be 20+ minutes long. . . Do you want to sit through that, America?  That's what I thought.  Instead of speaking, I will just broadcast old Jonas Brothers music videos.  That says enough.
4.  I will make another language for our Nation, but only the Pope and I will learn it.  Let the confusion begin.
6.  Inaugural address?  No, thanks.  Instead of doing that boring stuff, I will stand up in front of millions of Americans, and perform a spoken word version of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.  Mama, ooh.
7. I will make every classic 80's movie's anniversary be a holiday where everyone has to watch that movie.  Our children need a true education on what is actually important in life (you will thank me later).
8.  Kanye may be able to rap, but can he rap in Spanish?  Got that one on you, Kanye.
9. I have hair. Exhibit A:

(Beauty captured by Urban Islandz)

Or do I...?

(Egg baby creds to mi madre)

10. As Rachael says, I have better facial hair than Kanye.  Thanks man, you're such a good friend.

Now, I know what you may be thinking: What are your thoughts on *states political issue*?
Well, I will tell you, fine citizen.

The answer to anything and everything is this:
"If it sounds stupid, it probably is."
-Mikelle

You also may be wondering: Where is number 5?  The same answer applies.  I do what I want.

Kanye, being a multi millionaire, has a little bit of an advantage when it comes to campaigning.  Me, on the other hand, will have to improvise.  If you vote for me, you will get an Easter sticker from my grocery store collection (it's very exclusive).  You may be wondering: "Why would I want an Easter sticker if it's not even Easter?"  But honestly, why wouldn't you?  Also, if you are a dedicated member of the Mikelle party, and yes it is a real thing, then I might even throw in an expired coupon to Justice.  Free of charge *wink wink*.

If you vote for me, I will improve school lunches to Café Rio status, make every grocery store give free stickers 24/7, and I will begone with fake hair.  I'm talking to you, Donald.  We all know you're hair isn't that luscious.