Thanksgiving for Non-Americans

Hello fine citizen.  As you may know, November is upon us.  For all of you Americans out there, we all know what that means: Thanksgiving.  Now, if you aren't American you might have heard of this holiday, or you might not have.  I don't know your life story, man.  For all of you people who don't know what Thanksgiving is, I will teach you my young one.

Once upon a time, long before Donald Trump's toupee was born, the Native Americans living in America helped the new colonists with their harvest.  They had a good relationship, they were bros.  This is before they forced all of them to live on reservations, of course.  Anyway, the harvest brought some good food and so the colonists went, "Hey we should get the squad together and eat all this food."  So, they did just that.  They got the squad, as well as some "bangin' honeys" (as Matthew would say) and had a "Thanksgiving" feast.

(Original pic creds to Wikipedia)

Since then, I guess you could say the holiday has evolved.

Basically, a family, and sometimes extended family, sit down and eat as much food as they desire.  This may be turkey, or it may be potatoes in various forms.  For me, it's more like the second choice.  Thanksgiving is also a day of football, don't ask me why.  If it were me in charge, I would make it a day of Disney but we don't always get what we want.  Then, in my family, we pretty much just take the day to sleep and cry because all of the food is gone.  Or play with baby cousins, but that's what we do every holiday.

The stereotypical family might go around the table and say what they're thankful for or make DIY turkey decorations, but my family pretty much just makes jokes the whole time.  It's not that different of a day except for that night.  Thanksgiving night is where the magic happens.  This is when all of my family is too tired to do anything and on their third or fourth hour of their Netflix binge-fest.  This is when Mikelle goes up to her room, locks the door, blasts Christmas music, and basically drops a Christmas bomb of decorations everywhere.  Yep, that's right.  I decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving, so sue me.

After this lovely HOLLAday (as I would call it), starting at mid-night, we go shopping all night for stuff that we don't need.  This is known as Black Friday.  It is also a day when everyone in America turns into animals when they see the item they want.  Which results in many people getting trampled (Exhibit A).  My family does not participate in this though, because we enjoy our sleep, unlike some people.

Now, thanks to me, if you are ever to be in the need of impressing someone (possibly a significant other) you can bring up all the new information that you have just learned.  I don't know what significant other would be impressed by your knowledge of Americans eating a lot and watching football, but you never know.