V-Day da Real Way

It's February, and you (should) know what that means.  Another HOLLAday post w/ Mikelle!  It also means Valentine's Day, but I mean, what is more important?
Everyone is here for a purpose.  Mine is to teach people about Valentine's Day that most likely already know about it, considering 100% of my "audience" are from America.  Go figure.

Anyway, Valentine's Day.  One of the most dreaded but loved days of the year.  This HOLLAday is based entirely to be the day or month of love.  You seem like a smart person, whoever you are, so I'm guessing you can tell why this would be a problem for a majority of the American population (or wherever else they celebrate it, I don't know man).  Although I am in fact married to Harry Styles, I am technically "single," so I can relate to the struggles.  It is hard to watch other people be all couple-y when you are just a lone egg, finding your place in this world (or in the carton am I right ladies).

(look at us, just being goals original creds to Popsugar)

The even bigger struggle, to me at least, is hearing people complain about being single.  Yes, I know having a bangin' honey would be a prime time, but girl (or boy) you better work having no man or woman (your preference).  Considering I am still stuck in the land of three day relationships, many people I know always try to get a honey so they won't be single on Valentine's Day.  If you already have someone you like, and it so happens to work out that way, you go girl.  But, I don't exactly see the point of going out of your way to get a boyfriend/girlfriend just so you can celebrate a HOLLAday together.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but ain't nobody got time for that.

There are few, but significant benefits of Valentine's season.  If you are anyone like me, you know you'll be hitting up all of that red and pink candy that goes on sale.  There is something about the same exact candy in different colored wrappers that makes it so much better.  I don't make the rules, it just is.  Sorry, Michelle, but that is where it's at.  No, I do not promote unhealthy living, but sometimes you gotta treat yo self, am I right?

(dang right creds to The Savvy Adult)

T-Haverford and Donna know what I'm talking about.

Not only does the abundance of glorious candy catch Mikelle's eye, but the various stuffed animals holding hearts, those are the source of my happiness.  You can hate on stuffed animals all you want, but you know all you want to do is feel them as you walk by.  I know you better than you think.  No, none of me "baes" have ever gotten me one of these, but a girl can dream.

The greatest part of Valentine's Day, to me, are all of the punny cards you see on Twitter.

(in the arms of the angels creds to Valentines Day Poems 2016)

Too soon? Too soon.
Hopefully y'all will have a good V-day, and remember kids, even single Pringles have a stack of other Pringles in the can with them.  Do with that what you want.
Make good choices.

JLaw, my queen

Dear Jennifer (JLaw) Lawrence,

My name is Mikelle, and I really am nobody special.  Sure, I do have the coolest fish in the world and have almost memorized the dialogue in all three Back to the Futures, but I am still just a less-than average girl.  You have millions of fans, while I am completely the opposite with maybe three followers on this blog and about 400 on social media (thanks to my many extended family members). Why am I making an effort to recognize/reach out to you?  The answer is simple.  You are exactly the person who inspires both this blog and the content on it.  You see, as you maybe can already tell, I am a lover of comedy and laughter.  I always have been, or at least as long as I can remember.  I would always go out of my way to make someone or myself laugh.  I mean, a great RomCom can't be a RomCom without the "com," am I right?  Just imagine movies like Clueless or Pitch Perfect without comedy.  I know, it terrifies me, too.

(very relatable creds to Entertainment Weekly)

Although, in the movies I've seen at least, you have always portrayed a more serious character.  But, watching your interviews we can all see how funny of a person you actually are.  Most blogs, or at least successful ones, will have a specific topic to interest those specific readers, but not me.  My blog seems very unorganized and just everywhere, but there is actually a purpose for all of the work put into these posts.  I want to make more people laugh.  Whether they are having a bad day, or the best day of their lives, I want to bring them the laughter that I know has guided me through my life. *inspirational titanic music playing in the background*

Most people admire an actor or actress for their acting skills or the fact that they played that person's favorite character in that movie.  I am guilty of this to some extent, but I strongly disagree, (but you did do an amazing job in The Hunger Games). You could be the Bill Gates of acting and still be a terrible person.  I look up to people more for how they act in interviews, around their fans, etc.  This is one of the many reasons that I admire you.  You don't even hesitate to express how you really feel when people ask about it.  You aren't one of the fake celebrities that acts like they're perfect all the time.  I have watched many interviews that still continue to inspire me.  You, unlike other girls, are never going to be willing to change your body or the way you look for anyone else.

So, this may be a slightly awkward 500 words for you to read, but this is the truth.  You are, in fact, the reason that I post on this blog.  I mean, besides the fact that I am graded on it, but thats not the point.  Okay, I'm gonna go eat now.

Your favorite egg,
Mikelle

Theme Parks 101

In my life, I have been to quite the number of amusement or theme parks.  I love them, the rollercoasters, sometimes waterslides, and so much to do (hence the name).  Nothing can ever destroy my happy mood at a theme park.  Except many things, actually.

If I am taking a picture of something (it has happened before), and the line moves forward, don't you dare try to cut me in line.  I was at Lagoon last year waiting in line for a haunted house, and because it was around Halloween, they have pretty clever decorations.  Anyways, I stopped to take a quick picture of this fake tombstone, and a mom behind me sassed me and tried to walk in front of me in line.  Nice try, hun.

I mean, how can you not take a picture of this? (creds to moi)

If you have been on the ride before and someone hasn't, don't act like you are an expert of that ride.
Thousands, possibly millions of people have been on that ride, you're not special.

Be nice to the workers, please.  This really applies to anywhere you go, but those poor theme park people (usually teenagers) have been there for who knows how long watching you have fun, so be nice.  Also, if YOU drop something off of a ride, don't blame it on them, or anyone else for that matter.  Honestly, just don't wear something that maybe could fall off, it isn't worth losing it.  Once a guy on in front of me on a rollercoaster's hat flew off.  Because my hands were up, I wasn't able to catch his hat.  I swear, if you were there you would've thought that I was the one to make his hat fly off.  We are all just here to have fun, so be nice and respect others por favor.

If you don't get the seat you want on a ride, don't pout or be mad about it.  For little kids this is understandable, but if you are over the age of eight or nine, please don't complain and put everyone in line in a bad mood.  If you really want that specific seat, get back in line and ride it the next time, problem solved.

If you are in a waterslide, please don't try to stop in the middle of it.  You are not spiderman, and you're slowing down the line.

Now, I understand that you and your squad came together and want to ride and die together like a true squad.  However, making people wait in line longer and annoying the workers is not worth you all sitting together on a 0.7 second ride.

All in all, amusement parks are lit.  Despite the people who do things like this and aggravate me and my fellow citizens, it'll almost always be a freaking great way to spend your day.  Plus, you get to see people like this:

(pure beauty credits to Hannah)

I mean, who would miss out on such an opportunity?

The Breakdown of New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve is an interesting holiday, considering its not exactly a holiday, just the Eve of one.  Yet, it is a lot more fun than the actual day that's for sure.  For older people, they will probably go to a party and get super drunk on New Year's Eve, well I'm certainly not 21 so none of that will be happening this year.  #sorrynotsorry

There are many weird traditions on the Eve of the new year.  It is always expected to be the greatest night of the year where you do crazy things you would not forget in a lifetime.  For me, my New Year's Eves are anything but that.  Memorable? Maybe, but I do not do anything crazy enough to tell my grandchildren, take last year for example.

I was having a sleepover with my friend, Hannah, and we just listened to music on my record player for a while, and then watched The Fault In Our Stars.  Do not get me wrong, that is a great way to spend time, in my mind, but it is nothing like kissing someone when the clock strikes midnight.  It happened more like this:

(the reason for my tears credits to Wikipedia)

*watching TFIOS and crying*
Hannah: *checks phone*
"Hey, look.  Its 12:06am.  It's a new year now!"

Me: *still crying at the movie*
"Oh, look at that.  Literally nothing changed."

After that, we just listened to even more music until I fell asleep at two a.m., good times.

Although I can be quite the party animal most of the time, New Years Eve is just one of the 0.0001% where I am not, sorry to disappoint.

Another weird tradition that I have many mixed feelings about is the dreaded New Year's resolutions.  If you do not know what a New Year's resolution is, it is basically a swear that you make before the new year that you will do something throughout the entire year.  Usually it is something like, to lose weight or to not eat chocolate for a year, and other things like that.  You may be wondering, "Mikelle, that sounds like a good idea, why don't you like it?"  Well, my friend, I do think it is a pretty good idea, except for two reasons:

1.  One out of three people give up or forget about their resolutions by the end of January, says Fetters.  It may just be me, but it is pointless to make a goal that you don't work towards or even remember to work towards.

2.  If you need to improve your life or health, why wouldn't you have done that when you realized you needed to?  You don't have to wait until the new year to change your life.  Just saying.

Lastly, why is there such a need to kiss someone when it becomes midnight?  There are people like me who will just become the third wheel of the entire party, not cool and very unnecessary.

(I can relate credits to Her Campus)

So, if there is anything you should take away from this post it is that:

1. It's okay if you want to watch sad movies instead of going to a party.
2. If you are going to make a resolution do it right and when it's needed.
3. Be a proud third wheel or, if you are one of the people that gets kissed, go easy on the third wheels.

Christmas Traditions to a non-christian

My fellow people, Thanksgiving is officially long gone.  We all know what that means (well, if you are a Christian then you definitely know), IT IS NOW AND FOREVER CHRISTMAS SEASON.  Christmas, if you do not already know, is a beautiful holiday surrounded by the idea of giving and listening to all of the "lit" Christmas songs.  Just saying, the Mariah Carey ones beat everything else.  Although this is my favorite holiday, many different abnormal traditions that come with the holiday itself.

First of all, what is Christmas caroling?  Walking around, in the cold, and singing various Christmas songs to people who might not even celebrate Christmas?  I understand everything about spreading Christmas cheer, but what about Hanukkah cheer?  You don't see any Hanukkah caroling or spirit.  Don't get me wrong, I love singing Christmas songs but it's just a question that needs to be answered.

Second, the mistletoe tradition, although cute for old people and couples, can make for a very awkward situation for everyone else.  For example, one time my brother and I walked into my aunts house, at the same time.  Guess what was above us?  Yep, of course it just happened to be mistletoe.  Thanks, Obama. Now, I promise you no kisses were shared, because incest is absolutely not win-cest in the Olsen.  But, it still did make for a very uncomfortable situation.

(The source of all holiday awkward situation credits to Prairie Works)

Third, why are there so many Christmas movies out there?  I love watching Christmas movies, especially Elf and others like that, but they honestly take over all T.V. channels.  Are there any Hanukkah movies?  If any of you know, please let me know because it is a serious question i've had for a while now.  You would think that even though Judaism is the minority, an eight day holiday would crush a two-ish long holiday as far as stores, music, and movies.  See?  I have some sort of logic sometimes.  And Hallmark, I am sorry but you really need to think of a new plot for every single one of your "unique" Christmas movies.  Not everyone that celebrates Christmas lives in New York, thank you very much.

Lastly, I love Christmas sweaters, but when it comes down to it they really aren't that needed.  Although I must say that buying a sweater and ugly-ifying it is quite satisfying if you ask me.  Or taking a trip to the DI.  That, right there, is always a good time.

(actual goals credits to Ugly Christmas Sweater)

All of these weird traditions, though, are what make Christmas such a party.  Well that and not having school, that's pretty nice too.  Hopefully all of you have a hella lit Christmas, or if you celebrate Hanukah or Kwanza, please find movies and sweaters for those holladays.  I am quite interested in this.

Mikelle takes the Fashion Industry

As you can tell by the title, I am planning to one day take over and rule the fashion industry.  "Why?" you may ask.  Here, I'll give you a little bit of background.  The other day we had some free time in math, which resulted in me going online shopping.  Looking at some of the clothes, prices, etc.,  made me seriously question the fashion industry and all that it stands for.  After expressing some of my concerns and questions about this to Laisa and Natalie, we have come to the conclusion that I, Mikelle should just take over the whole thing.  Think about it for a second.  Have you ever been in a store and been seriously concerned about some of the clothes they sell?  Or just walking down the street and wondering why anyone would make a piece of clothing or accessory like that.  Well, I have many times.

For example, why are girls clothing so much shorter and more revealing than boys?  It really makes no sense and just enforces different stereotypes about girls.  Also, a dress that is a normal length, is probably barely long enough to be a shirt on people as tall as me.  There is more than one height possible for girls, you know. (don't even get me started on Halloween costumes either)
I mean seriously, this poor girl is basically straight out of the womb already looking stripper-like.

   (Terrifying and concerning credits to Daily Mail)

Second, why do fur/silk coats exist?  The fur is supposed to be on the inside for maximum warmth, not the outside.  And the silk on the inside?  Really? Think about this, if you were stranded in the middle of Antarctica, freezing to death, and you had a choice of two coats: one with fur on the inside or the other one with fur on the outside and silk on the inside, which one would you chose?  If you answered the one with silk on the inside, it can only mean two things: you live in a warm place, like California or Hawaii, or two: you immediately thought there would be a personal heater or warm campfire provided for you.  They are pretty expensive, too! (Exhibit A)  Basically you are spending your money ($150 or more) on a jacket that isn't doing its job, smart move.

(unnecessary credits to Abercrombie & Fitch)

Lastly, why do some stores have only one or two sizes as an option?  *cough* Brandy Melville *cough* The entire human race (that would be shopping on that website) does not fit into just one size.  No matter how stretchy, one shirt will not fit, let alone look good on everyone.  Do you really think that a skirt that fits the skinniest person in the world is going to fit someone like Kim Kardashian?

(Queen credits to Actuarial Post)

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

As you can see, the whole fashion industry is struggling.  This is why I am here, to change the world, one (real) "fur" coat at a time.  Until next time, mis amigos.

Thanksgiving for Non-Americans

Hello fine citizen.  As you may know, November is upon us.  For all of you Americans out there, we all know what that means: Thanksgiving.  Now, if you aren't American you might have heard of this holiday, or you might not have.  I don't know your life story, man.  For all of you people who don't know what Thanksgiving is, I will teach you my young one.

Once upon a time, long before Donald Trump's toupee was born, the Native Americans living in America helped the new colonists with their harvest.  They had a good relationship, they were bros.  This is before they forced all of them to live on reservations, of course.  Anyway, the harvest brought some good food and so the colonists went, "Hey we should get the squad together and eat all this food."  So, they did just that.  They got the squad, as well as some "bangin' honeys" (as Matthew would say) and had a "Thanksgiving" feast.

(Original pic creds to Wikipedia)

Since then, I guess you could say the holiday has evolved.

Basically, a family, and sometimes extended family, sit down and eat as much food as they desire.  This may be turkey, or it may be potatoes in various forms.  For me, it's more like the second choice.  Thanksgiving is also a day of football, don't ask me why.  If it were me in charge, I would make it a day of Disney but we don't always get what we want.  Then, in my family, we pretty much just take the day to sleep and cry because all of the food is gone.  Or play with baby cousins, but that's what we do every holiday.

The stereotypical family might go around the table and say what they're thankful for or make DIY turkey decorations, but my family pretty much just makes jokes the whole time.  It's not that different of a day except for that night.  Thanksgiving night is where the magic happens.  This is when all of my family is too tired to do anything and on their third or fourth hour of their Netflix binge-fest.  This is when Mikelle goes up to her room, locks the door, blasts Christmas music, and basically drops a Christmas bomb of decorations everywhere.  Yep, that's right.  I decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving, so sue me.

After this lovely HOLLAday (as I would call it), starting at mid-night, we go shopping all night for stuff that we don't need.  This is known as Black Friday.  It is also a day when everyone in America turns into animals when they see the item they want.  Which results in many people getting trampled (Exhibit A).  My family does not participate in this though, because we enjoy our sleep, unlike some people.

Now, thanks to me, if you are ever to be in the need of impressing someone (possibly a significant other) you can bring up all the new information that you have just learned.  I don't know what significant other would be impressed by your knowledge of Americans eating a lot and watching football, but you never know.