Theme Parks 101

In my life, I have been to quite the number of amusement or theme parks.  I love them, the rollercoasters, sometimes waterslides, and so much to do (hence the name).  Nothing can ever destroy my happy mood at a theme park.  Except many things, actually.

If I am taking a picture of something (it has happened before), and the line moves forward, don't you dare try to cut me in line.  I was at Lagoon last year waiting in line for a haunted house, and because it was around Halloween, they have pretty clever decorations.  Anyways, I stopped to take a quick picture of this fake tombstone, and a mom behind me sassed me and tried to walk in front of me in line.  Nice try, hun.

I mean, how can you not take a picture of this? (creds to moi)

If you have been on the ride before and someone hasn't, don't act like you are an expert of that ride.
Thousands, possibly millions of people have been on that ride, you're not special.

Be nice to the workers, please.  This really applies to anywhere you go, but those poor theme park people (usually teenagers) have been there for who knows how long watching you have fun, so be nice.  Also, if YOU drop something off of a ride, don't blame it on them, or anyone else for that matter.  Honestly, just don't wear something that maybe could fall off, it isn't worth losing it.  Once a guy on in front of me on a rollercoaster's hat flew off.  Because my hands were up, I wasn't able to catch his hat.  I swear, if you were there you would've thought that I was the one to make his hat fly off.  We are all just here to have fun, so be nice and respect others por favor.

If you don't get the seat you want on a ride, don't pout or be mad about it.  For little kids this is understandable, but if you are over the age of eight or nine, please don't complain and put everyone in line in a bad mood.  If you really want that specific seat, get back in line and ride it the next time, problem solved.

If you are in a waterslide, please don't try to stop in the middle of it.  You are not spiderman, and you're slowing down the line.

Now, I understand that you and your squad came together and want to ride and die together like a true squad.  However, making people wait in line longer and annoying the workers is not worth you all sitting together on a 0.7 second ride.

All in all, amusement parks are lit.  Despite the people who do things like this and aggravate me and my fellow citizens, it'll almost always be a freaking great way to spend your day.  Plus, you get to see people like this:

(pure beauty credits to Hannah)

I mean, who would miss out on such an opportunity?

The Breakdown of New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve is an interesting holiday, considering its not exactly a holiday, just the Eve of one.  Yet, it is a lot more fun than the actual day that's for sure.  For older people, they will probably go to a party and get super drunk on New Year's Eve, well I'm certainly not 21 so none of that will be happening this year.  #sorrynotsorry

There are many weird traditions on the Eve of the new year.  It is always expected to be the greatest night of the year where you do crazy things you would not forget in a lifetime.  For me, my New Year's Eves are anything but that.  Memorable? Maybe, but I do not do anything crazy enough to tell my grandchildren, take last year for example.

I was having a sleepover with my friend, Hannah, and we just listened to music on my record player for a while, and then watched The Fault In Our Stars.  Do not get me wrong, that is a great way to spend time, in my mind, but it is nothing like kissing someone when the clock strikes midnight.  It happened more like this:

(the reason for my tears credits to Wikipedia)

*watching TFIOS and crying*
Hannah: *checks phone*
"Hey, look.  Its 12:06am.  It's a new year now!"

Me: *still crying at the movie*
"Oh, look at that.  Literally nothing changed."

After that, we just listened to even more music until I fell asleep at two a.m., good times.

Although I can be quite the party animal most of the time, New Years Eve is just one of the 0.0001% where I am not, sorry to disappoint.

Another weird tradition that I have many mixed feelings about is the dreaded New Year's resolutions.  If you do not know what a New Year's resolution is, it is basically a swear that you make before the new year that you will do something throughout the entire year.  Usually it is something like, to lose weight or to not eat chocolate for a year, and other things like that.  You may be wondering, "Mikelle, that sounds like a good idea, why don't you like it?"  Well, my friend, I do think it is a pretty good idea, except for two reasons:

1.  One out of three people give up or forget about their resolutions by the end of January, says Fetters.  It may just be me, but it is pointless to make a goal that you don't work towards or even remember to work towards.

2.  If you need to improve your life or health, why wouldn't you have done that when you realized you needed to?  You don't have to wait until the new year to change your life.  Just saying.

Lastly, why is there such a need to kiss someone when it becomes midnight?  There are people like me who will just become the third wheel of the entire party, not cool and very unnecessary.

(I can relate credits to Her Campus)

So, if there is anything you should take away from this post it is that:

1. It's okay if you want to watch sad movies instead of going to a party.
2. If you are going to make a resolution do it right and when it's needed.
3. Be a proud third wheel or, if you are one of the people that gets kissed, go easy on the third wheels.

Christmas Traditions to a non-christian

My fellow people, Thanksgiving is officially long gone.  We all know what that means (well, if you are a Christian then you definitely know), IT IS NOW AND FOREVER CHRISTMAS SEASON.  Christmas, if you do not already know, is a beautiful holiday surrounded by the idea of giving and listening to all of the "lit" Christmas songs.  Just saying, the Mariah Carey ones beat everything else.  Although this is my favorite holiday, many different abnormal traditions that come with the holiday itself.

First of all, what is Christmas caroling?  Walking around, in the cold, and singing various Christmas songs to people who might not even celebrate Christmas?  I understand everything about spreading Christmas cheer, but what about Hanukkah cheer?  You don't see any Hanukkah caroling or spirit.  Don't get me wrong, I love singing Christmas songs but it's just a question that needs to be answered.

Second, the mistletoe tradition, although cute for old people and couples, can make for a very awkward situation for everyone else.  For example, one time my brother and I walked into my aunts house, at the same time.  Guess what was above us?  Yep, of course it just happened to be mistletoe.  Thanks, Obama. Now, I promise you no kisses were shared, because incest is absolutely not win-cest in the Olsen.  But, it still did make for a very uncomfortable situation.

(The source of all holiday awkward situation credits to Prairie Works)

Third, why are there so many Christmas movies out there?  I love watching Christmas movies, especially Elf and others like that, but they honestly take over all T.V. channels.  Are there any Hanukkah movies?  If any of you know, please let me know because it is a serious question i've had for a while now.  You would think that even though Judaism is the minority, an eight day holiday would crush a two-ish long holiday as far as stores, music, and movies.  See?  I have some sort of logic sometimes.  And Hallmark, I am sorry but you really need to think of a new plot for every single one of your "unique" Christmas movies.  Not everyone that celebrates Christmas lives in New York, thank you very much.

Lastly, I love Christmas sweaters, but when it comes down to it they really aren't that needed.  Although I must say that buying a sweater and ugly-ifying it is quite satisfying if you ask me.  Or taking a trip to the DI.  That, right there, is always a good time.

(actual goals credits to Ugly Christmas Sweater)

All of these weird traditions, though, are what make Christmas such a party.  Well that and not having school, that's pretty nice too.  Hopefully all of you have a hella lit Christmas, or if you celebrate Hanukah or Kwanza, please find movies and sweaters for those holladays.  I am quite interested in this.

Mikelle takes the Fashion Industry

As you can tell by the title, I am planning to one day take over and rule the fashion industry.  "Why?" you may ask.  Here, I'll give you a little bit of background.  The other day we had some free time in math, which resulted in me going online shopping.  Looking at some of the clothes, prices, etc.,  made me seriously question the fashion industry and all that it stands for.  After expressing some of my concerns and questions about this to Laisa and Natalie, we have come to the conclusion that I, Mikelle should just take over the whole thing.  Think about it for a second.  Have you ever been in a store and been seriously concerned about some of the clothes they sell?  Or just walking down the street and wondering why anyone would make a piece of clothing or accessory like that.  Well, I have many times.

For example, why are girls clothing so much shorter and more revealing than boys?  It really makes no sense and just enforces different stereotypes about girls.  Also, a dress that is a normal length, is probably barely long enough to be a shirt on people as tall as me.  There is more than one height possible for girls, you know. (don't even get me started on Halloween costumes either)
I mean seriously, this poor girl is basically straight out of the womb already looking stripper-like.

   (Terrifying and concerning credits to Daily Mail)

Second, why do fur/silk coats exist?  The fur is supposed to be on the inside for maximum warmth, not the outside.  And the silk on the inside?  Really? Think about this, if you were stranded in the middle of Antarctica, freezing to death, and you had a choice of two coats: one with fur on the inside or the other one with fur on the outside and silk on the inside, which one would you chose?  If you answered the one with silk on the inside, it can only mean two things: you live in a warm place, like California or Hawaii, or two: you immediately thought there would be a personal heater or warm campfire provided for you.  They are pretty expensive, too! (Exhibit A)  Basically you are spending your money ($150 or more) on a jacket that isn't doing its job, smart move.

(unnecessary credits to Abercrombie & Fitch)

Lastly, why do some stores have only one or two sizes as an option?  *cough* Brandy Melville *cough* The entire human race (that would be shopping on that website) does not fit into just one size.  No matter how stretchy, one shirt will not fit, let alone look good on everyone.  Do you really think that a skirt that fits the skinniest person in the world is going to fit someone like Kim Kardashian?

(Queen credits to Actuarial Post)

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

As you can see, the whole fashion industry is struggling.  This is why I am here, to change the world, one (real) "fur" coat at a time.  Until next time, mis amigos.

Thanksgiving for Non-Americans

Hello fine citizen.  As you may know, November is upon us.  For all of you Americans out there, we all know what that means: Thanksgiving.  Now, if you aren't American you might have heard of this holiday, or you might not have.  I don't know your life story, man.  For all of you people who don't know what Thanksgiving is, I will teach you my young one.

Once upon a time, long before Donald Trump's toupee was born, the Native Americans living in America helped the new colonists with their harvest.  They had a good relationship, they were bros.  This is before they forced all of them to live on reservations, of course.  Anyway, the harvest brought some good food and so the colonists went, "Hey we should get the squad together and eat all this food."  So, they did just that.  They got the squad, as well as some "bangin' honeys" (as Matthew would say) and had a "Thanksgiving" feast.

(Original pic creds to Wikipedia)

Since then, I guess you could say the holiday has evolved.

Basically, a family, and sometimes extended family, sit down and eat as much food as they desire.  This may be turkey, or it may be potatoes in various forms.  For me, it's more like the second choice.  Thanksgiving is also a day of football, don't ask me why.  If it were me in charge, I would make it a day of Disney but we don't always get what we want.  Then, in my family, we pretty much just take the day to sleep and cry because all of the food is gone.  Or play with baby cousins, but that's what we do every holiday.

The stereotypical family might go around the table and say what they're thankful for or make DIY turkey decorations, but my family pretty much just makes jokes the whole time.  It's not that different of a day except for that night.  Thanksgiving night is where the magic happens.  This is when all of my family is too tired to do anything and on their third or fourth hour of their Netflix binge-fest.  This is when Mikelle goes up to her room, locks the door, blasts Christmas music, and basically drops a Christmas bomb of decorations everywhere.  Yep, that's right.  I decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving, so sue me.

After this lovely HOLLAday (as I would call it), starting at mid-night, we go shopping all night for stuff that we don't need.  This is known as Black Friday.  It is also a day when everyone in America turns into animals when they see the item they want.  Which results in many people getting trampled (Exhibit A).  My family does not participate in this though, because we enjoy our sleep, unlike some people.

Now, thanks to me, if you are ever to be in the need of impressing someone (possibly a significant other) you can bring up all the new information that you have just learned.  I don't know what significant other would be impressed by your knowledge of Americans eating a lot and watching football, but you never know.

Watching Children in my Free-time?

As a teenager with a very short attention span, I find that I need a sufficient amount of money to use towards entertainment.  This so called "entertainment" money may be mistaken for drug money, but it is really only used towards these 5 things: Cafe Rio, Unnecessary items at Walmart that seem important at the time, but never are, more Cafe Rio, sticker books, various "claw" games that I never win, and clothes that I will probably return anyway.

As you can see, the small amount of money that I have is dire to my teenage experience.  "How do I get all of this moolah?" you may ask.  And the answer to that question, long story short is by intently watching young children while alone in a house.  Or as the 'cool kids' call it these days, "babysitting."  Even though I babysit quite often, and am quite good at it (no need to brag or anything), I still wonder why I am allowed to be trusted with children.  I mean, would you really want me, out of all people, to be in charge of your beloved tiny humans?  Yeah, probably not.  But considering the circumstances, I am actually a great babysitter.

Exhibit A:

(low quality photo, high quality baby creds to myself)

STORY TIME:
Last summer, I was babysitting a 6 year-old girl and she was being difficult, to say the least.  I usually don't have a short temper when it comes to kids, but that day I was just tired and was not in the mood.  Instead of putting her to bed at her bed time, I put her to bed an hour and a half early so I could watch Disney Channel without interruption.  Although this may sound terrible, you know you would've done it too.

Another time, more recently, I was babysitting a girl and her baby sister.  When talking to the girl about her life and baby sister, I made the mistake of referring to the baby as a "fetus."  Here is a definition incase you were wondering:

(credits to the Apple dictionary widget)

This brought an abundant amount of confusion from the girl, and she kept asking me for the next 15 minutes what it meant.  At this point in time, I had mentally switched to panic mode, not wanting to say the wrong thing.  Out of a weak moment, I told her that fetus was another word for food.  Immediately after explaining this, I regretted what I said.  I then told her that I made up the word, just to save myself and her from further confusion down the road.  Bad choice, Mikelle, very bad choice.

*I would just like to put it out there that I am in fact not a cannibal and do not promote cannibalism in any way, it was just a bad time in my life.*

Whenever I babysit and the kid(s) are asleep, I always find myself watching the kid show that they were watching earlier.  I sometimes will switch it to Friends, but then decide that I need a better Disney Channel education.  Don't judge, you know you do it too (hopefully).

Anyway, long story short is, if your kid asks you why you are eating a fetus when you are at the dinner table, take it easy on me.  I'm new to this stuff.

The New Tyler Oakley?

Oh hey there.  Looks like you're right on time, my friend.  You know why?  It's because it's story time w/ Mikelle.  No, this is not story time where we sit in a circle on the floor and read Dr. Seuss (although it could be).  This is where I tell a (usually embarrassing) story about my life.  My homies that took my poll voted for this, so if you're not happy about it, you should blame them.  Anyway, on to the story.

*Flash back to 13 year old Mikelle*

As you may or may not know, I am a frequent YouTube user.  At this point in my life, I watched almost every video on every (relevant) topic there was.  A couple of the ones that I remember watching a lot were videos on  how to make money as a teenager.  (And yes, 13 is considered being a teenager so don't even start with the "tween" crap)  On many of the videos, it suggested to start a YouTube channel.  So, being adventurous Mikelle, I made an account.

My first video was called "The Whisper Challenge" and if you don't watch YouTube, it is basically the most over-used video idea/challenge ever.  The video was terrible to say the least, but what else can you expect from a 2009 laptop webcam and iMovie editing?  I was almost proud of it, and decided to make another video called "10 things I hate about school."  This, like the first video, is a very over-used topic.  It ended up being an over ten minute video of me rambling with Katy Perry playing in the background.

Two of my friends "liked" it, and we were convinced that I was going to have hundreds of subscribers.  This never happened, obviously but I was still semi-determined.  I could be the next Tyler Oakley, right?

(Smurf creds to The Daily Beast)

(Albino egg creds to myself)

Right. (at least that's what I thought)
I attempted to film two other videos after that, both going unfinished because they didn't turn out to say the least.  One of them was a prank calling video, which nobody answered their phone to any of my calls. self explanatory.  The second one was a DIY video.  I honestly should've given up sooner on this one, seeing as that I can't even open a bottle of Elmer's glue, let alone tell other people how to be crafty.  It's a huge struggle for people like me.  Anyway, I was planning on making an artsy mason jar with glued-on leaves on the outside (my mom helped me open the glue).  It was going well, I got almost all of the footage when I forgot about the jar.  How do you forget about a project that you have to film about?  I honestly will never know.  Flash forward to two weeks later, I finally remembered that I needed to film the end product.  When I went to go get my beloved masterpiece, I saw that every single leaf glued on my mason jar had died on the jar.  Thanks, Obama.

After that, you could say I took an early retirement.  Now I know what you might be thinking, and no, the videos are not on YouTube anymore.  I can handle a lot of embarrassment, but those videos were a little too high on the scale.  So, lo siento mi amigo.  I know, you all want to keep all tabs about my life, but I will make it up to you somehow (probs not though).